2017 Year in Review

1. What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before?

Fair question.  Had a complete meltdown at work.  Flunked out of school (because I just stopped showing up). Became part of a changeover due to the death of a co-worker.  Got a tattoo.  Road-tripped to Paris (TX).  Put my cat to sleep.  Used a virtual PC at work.  Adopted a cat through a rescue.  Entered a writing contest.  Signed with a Realtor.  Watched my mother die.  Planned a funeral.  Wrote a eulogy.  Signed up for Braille class (then flunked out). Traveled for the first time with just my cousin.  Managed to avoid getting norovirus.  Cruised the Caribbean.  Visited Haiti and Jamaica.

2. Did you keep your New Year’s Resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I did not.  I did not make any.  I did commit to going to school.  I signed up and paid for 2 classes, learned for a bit and then I bailed when it was one of those… which of these things am I going to drop with Sanity, work and school.  Same with the Braille class.  Survival alone was tough for 2017.  I’m just hoping to make it to 2018 and beyond.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Both of my cousin Laura’s had babies this year.  Both of them boys.  Couple of old friends had babies too.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Started off with a co-worker.  Followed up by my fuzzy Jake, after almost 13 years of kitty togetherness.  Then in August I lost my mom and my world hasn’t been the same since.

5. What countries did you visit?

Visited the US, twice.  Visited a new state while I was there the first time, and concurred a fear of another the second time.  Spent a day in Haiti and in Jamaica.

6. What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017

Less stress.  Peace.  Patience.  Love.

7. What date from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

March 25 – Day I put Jake down.

August 25 – Day mom died.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Truthfully?  Surviving it.

9. What was your biggest failure?

There’s a lot of things I didn’t do well.  But.  Survival was the function point, not surviving well.  And I survived, so I’m okay with that.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Not that I recall, at least, not outside of the normal depression and anxiety.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Technically I didn’t buy him – I paid an adoption fee – but the best thing I’ve paid for this year has been my cat.  Husky has been a light in a lot of dark moments.  Even if he is nuts.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

All of my friends and family who were there for me in 2017.   A lot of bad things happened and I had some excellent people around me.  Those who answered the late night texts.  Who were there for me when I needed them.  Who gave me the strength to keep going.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

There is a long story to this one.  But.  There were some comments that were made by my superior during my year-end review that were incredibly inappropriate and rather hurtful, tying to the time I was off on vacation, then took leave because my mother died.  They revolved around how the place, basically, fell apart when I was off, and how somehow that was my fault.  Of course, as none of the commentary was truly represented in my written comment, and it would have been impossible to bring up as a complaint.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Travel.  Rent.  Clothes.  Food.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Getting my tattoo with Keiran.  Deciding to adopt Husky.  Spending time with friends and loved ones.  Swimming in the ocean.

16. What song will always remind you of 2017

Suburbia – the “I Miss New Wave” version.

17.Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) Happier or sadder?  Depends on the moment

b) Thinner or fatter?  Fluctuated right back to where I started last year.

c) Richer or poorer?  Spent a bunch of money this year, so likely poorer. Richer in friendship.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Let go of things.  Realize that I’m only one person.  Tell people I love them.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Obsesses over things.  Given into fear.  Work/waste my energy at work.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

Despite my aunt arguing to take over Christmas this year… We hosted.  I cooked a turkey, made cranberry sauce, gravy, potatoes and carrots.  Melissa and dad helped.  Laura brought her family.  Horst and Jane were there, with Oma.  Husky kept everyone entertained.  It was a success, and things went fairly well.

21. Who did you spend most of the time on the phone with?

Talking, with mom, before she died.  Then picked up with Dad and sister each night.  Texting with Isabelle and Keiran.

22. Did you fall in love in 2017

I stayed in hopeless one-sided, unrequited love again this year.  But I’m at the point of crying uncle and put myself back on the market.

23. How many one-night stands?

Zero.

24. What was your favourite TV program?

Same as other years, I suspect.  Murdoch Mysteries.  Simpsons.  Bob’s Burgers.  Still Standing.  I’m looking forward to the next X-Files reboot.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Hate, no.  Wary of, for sure. Less trusting, absolutely.

26. What was the best book you read?

The ones I’ve taken the time to read.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery

I don’t think there was a greatest musical discovery this year.  Although I did enjoy Dylan’s The Word of Mouth EP and I did pick up some other likes.

28. What did you want and get?

Much more than I deserved.

29. What did you want and not get?

More time.  More love.

30. What was your favourite film of this year?

Lots of good movies out there.  Lego Batman and Lego Ninjago.  Thor:  Ragnarok was pretty funny.  So was Star Wars – The Last Jedi.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old?

35 in 2017.  I honestly can’t remember what I did on my birthday.  Is that a sign of getting old?  It was mid-week, and I know I got a piece of cake.

32. What would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

At this point I don’t even know.  I’m just hoping for a better 2018.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017?

Lazy.  Lazy with a mix of don’t give a fuck except occasionally.  Lots of dresses and boots.  Lots of trips to Torrid.

34. What kept you sane?

The cat.  Friends.  Family.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Josh Ramsay is still near the top of this list.  So is Matthew Good.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

The ones that affected my friends.

37. Who did you miss?

The people I wasn’t, or can’t be, with.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

I made friends with the individual who took over for the deceased coworker.  He’s been pretty fantastic.  I’ve also strengthened several existing friendships and I wouldn’t have made it through this year without them.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017

That there is never enough time.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

you will come back
convince yourself you can stay alive
and wait for me
and i will know what this was for
and I’ll say we’re leaving
there ain’t nothing here at all
another month, a year that’s all
so you can tell them I’m coming
and hell’s coming with me
someday this place is going to burn
is your whole life in the waiting
someday their heads are going to turn and they’ll realize
you’re missing

– Suburbia ~ Matthew Good.

Just another Thursday

I lay quiet
Waiting for her voice to say
“Some things you lose,
and some things you just give away”
*

I accidentally bought a caffeine-free diet Pepsi today.  Which… once I’d realised it, I was rather disappointed.  I don’t like the new bottles and logos.  They confuse me when I’m in a hurry.

Last week was a lil rough around the edges.  We’re extremely short-staffed at work right now – down to the point where we’re operating at almost 50% capacity with a 50% increase in work load.  Which basically translates to my covering nearly everything outside of two specialties.  Which has lead to an increase in stress-level… about 10-fold.

Needless to say… I’ve been a little short-tempered and a little out-of-control in my binge eating.  I know I should work on getting back on track, but I know that I cannot handle that right now with everything else.  So I’m trying to just take it one day at a time and keep it (mostly) together.

Last week… one of the low-points was my own dumb luck. It had been a rough day to start with.  And on the way home I stumbled down the last two steps of the subway stairs.  Wrenched my shoulder, whacked my arm off the floor, but didn’t hit the ground.  Good, right?  Sure.  Except when I got to the other subway station, I was on my way up the stairs when I got shoved from behind.  Landing face first on the stairs.  Lovely.  I’m still debating on whether I need to go get my arm checked out – the joints in my one wrist are all crackly.  I know I should get it looked at, and I’m really just being stubborn about it, but I really really don’t want a cast before Vancouver.

Keiran and I’s trip to BC is coming up.  And we’ve got a plan now!  There’s still details to be worked out, but we’ve got a plan!

I’m in the mood to do some shopping.  I’m wanting to buy all these expensive toys… I’d like a new camera.  I want a Wii.  And games to go with the Wii.  The camera… that’s going to be something I have to look into.  The wii… will wait.

Watch me lose her
It’s almost like losing myself
Give her my soul
and let them take somebody else
*

Jake wanted to add something as well
]
“”””””””””””””}}}}}}}}}0-o}o

*  from Strawberry Gashes by Jack Off Jill

I’m getting good at long, rambly, random updates about once a month

The past few weeks have been interesting, to say the least.  Or, well, I could say less, but who cares either way?

I just finished a mini vacation, which was wonderful.  It was, well, wonderful to have a few days off to just relax and for once not worry about moving details or vacation details or anything of the sort.

So I had two days off last week, and I decided that I was going to go to the cottage.  I miss being there for weeks on end like we used to when I was little.  I headed home after work on Wednesday, and we headed up to the cottage Thursday morning (after I bought my Matt Good tickets, of course)

Speaking of Matt Good tickets… I was at home when I was ordering them.  And we still have dial-up, although it’s high speed.  Now, the funny thing about our dial-up… when someone calls, it gives the internet connection the hiccups.  It doesn’t completely disconnect, but it doesn’t stay connected.  So, of course, my grandmother called just as soon as I hit the submit button to purchase my ticket.  And I cursed and swore and threw a fit (in my room, to prolly only Keiran :x) and lost my ticket.  Or so I thought.  So I opened another ticketmaster window and clicked on my order history.

And instead of having one single ticket on there (or so I hoped anyway, seeing as I wasn’t sure the transaction even went through) I had two single tickets.  In completely different sections of Massey Hall.  So… If anyone wants a ticket…

Anyway.  We headed up to the cottage shortly afterwards.  Where we met our first mouse haha.  Turns out that we’ve got mice at the cottage.  There was one ballsy little guy who would come out in the evening when we were watching TV and run between our feet and around the kitchen in search of food.  He would run around, dashing here and there, completely undisturbed by the fact that we were there.  We even caught him licking off cheese from the mouse traps that had deployed the night before and were waiting to be cleaned by the sink!

There were some nice storms Thursday and Friday at the lake.  The thunder was so loud that it would shake the old windows.  Lightening was flashing like crazy and it absolutely POURED rain.  Usually I love sleeping when it’s raining, all lulled to sleep.  But this was angry rain and it didn’t work quite so well.

Friday night late we headed home so that we could get up early in the morning for our regular routine of Garage Sales, Market and out for breakfast.  In the beginning of the garage sale season, I bought this semi-ugly touch lamp.  The price was right (50 cents) and I desperately needed a lamp for beside my bed at the cottage.  Mom and I were joking the other day about how we’d never find another one like it, and it was a shame.  And lo-and-behold, at the second garage sale on Saturday, I found a matching lamp!

Saturday at the cottage was beautiful weather.  My sister and I decided we were going to take the paddle boat out onto the lake.  Unfortunately some time during the past year, the rudder had snapped partially.  And an even bigger unfortunately occurred when, after an hour and a half of cleaning and getting it ready, while putting it in the water, the rudder snapped completely off.  Figures.  We made do and I wore my sister out with paddling to our cousin’s cottage and back.

Overall it was a very good vacation.

Moving date is rapidly approaching, although not so rapidly that I’m already out of time.  And, of course, I’m nowhere near ready to move.  Well, possession-wise.  Apparently I own a LOT more stuff than I realised, and, well, I’m realising it now?

I’ve spent what feels like very little time actually packing though.  Most of my time has been spent weeding through my possessions and figuring out if they’re worth holding on to.  I’ve always been a packrat.  But it’s amazing the amount of stuff I hold on to.  Some for sentimental reasons, such as letters and cards from friends, but others… makes me go wtf.

It’s also amazing how many magazines pile up when you’re not looking.  And how usesless the majority of them are.  Sure, we love reading them once, but afterwards… they just collect space.  I likely recycled about two years worth of Cosmos without a second glance.

Prior to moving day, and what should be making me a little more anxious ABOUT moving day, is vacation.  In just over a week, Keiran and her mom will be here. Which means I need to get my ass moving with cleaning and making the place livable heh.  Since, well, we might be living here, but it’s really kind of gross.  But since the roommate doesn’t seem to care about the state of the ick in the toilet, or the gross smell coming from the kitchen, someone has to.

But yes, vacation time is coming.  Keiran’s mom has never been to Canada before, and I’m hoping that we don’t completely disapppoint her?  Anyway.  We’ve planned a tour of Toronto for the Saturday.  We’ve got the Hippo Tour booked for Saturday morning, and the Zoo planned for the afternoon, as well as some driving around (with my Dad playing tour guide) and a trip up the CN Tower.  I haven’t been to the Zoo in forever… seriously, like middle school. And I’ve never been on the Hippo Tour – although I’ve seen the Hippo Tour bus quite often downtown.

I think we’re getting somewhere on our plans for after Keiran’s mom leaves.  We’re planning on going up to the cottage, and seeing a movie or two, playing some mini golf and touring African Lion Safari (another place I’ve never been haha).

So… what? See you in another month, after the rate I post at?  Haha.  Well, in a months time, I’ll certainly have lots to post about anyway.

My tongue is lost so I can’t tell you, please just see it in my eyes

Emily hasn’t written in a long time and she’s sorry for that.  But she has this problem where she hasn’t been able to … focus on anything.  So blame her brain if you must.

Emily has been slacking.  There are a lot of things that Emily is suppose to be doing, or that she’d like to be doing, that she hasn’t been.  She owes people paintings and sketches and writings and various other artsy things, as well as the fact that she wants to do some for herself.  She needs to stop being a bad friend.

Emily went to see Darren Hayes a while ago with her friend Amanda.  She thinks it was the 15th, but she’s not quite sure.  She had a good time, even if she wasn’t really into the show.  It was more for nostalgia’s sake than anything else, since she absolutely adored Darren and Savage Garden when she was younger.  Savage Garden was one of the first tapes (gasp!) that she saved up and bought herself.  She’s not sure that Amanda had a good time, but Emily enjoyed being with her regardless.  She always does.

Emily’s been spending way too much money recently.  It’s starting to bug her, but it is the season of new CDs from favourite artists, and she’s already counting down the days to the new Matthew Good album. 

Pride Parade was last weekend, and Emily went.  Even though she wasn’t feeling good and wasn’t sure she wanted to go anyway.  But what’s not to love about naked or mostly naked men and women walking around.  Not to mention the fact that Pride Parade brings out both the beautiful boys and girls.  So there’s always plenty of eye candy around.

Emily was talking to Emily last week (here’s where there’s potential to get a little confusing).  Emily moved into her new place and got a kitty.  Emily said that Emily could go meet her new kitty.  Kitty’s are so cute and Emily’s gonna have to take her up on that. But first Emily has to remember to email Emily at work and ask her if she wants to go to get a coffee. 

Emily was also talking to Jen and Matt, two people whom she hasn’t been talking to much in the past while – both for completely different reasons.  She’s beyond thrilled to have been talking to them, because she’s missed both of them muchly.  Now she’s just got to work on keeping re-established friendships.

What else?

Emily’s friend Keiran is coming to visit in a bunch of days but not too many.  Emily is failing today at basic math, otherwise she’d have a number where it says bunch of. But yes.  Keiran is bringing her mom to Canada for a few days as well.  She’s never been here (Emily thinks, anyway) and she wants to see all the fun stuff.  So they’ll be going to Niagara Falls for a day or so, and around Toronto.  If there’s any places in Toronto that you can think of as a good touristy think, please share.  Emily would greatly appreciate it.

Emily’s found her own apartment as well.  She’s still working out all the details, but she should be moving end of August.  Emily’s excited and a little scared.  A lot of excited though. 

Emily’s all tuckered out, so she thinks it’s time to stop rambling on in third person.

This post was brought to you by Doctor Mario and Gameboy, for random reasons which no one will understand.

I never claimed to be smart

So I did something simply brilliant the other day.  I picked up a casserole dish that had been in the oven for over an hour with my bare hand.  Having completely forgotten that I’d taken the one oven mitt off to grab a bowl out of the cupboard.  Brilliant eh?  My index finger and my middle finger have been nicely burnt and are this weird mix of red and white.  Which my mom says means that it’ll heal alright.  Lovely haha.  Luckily the cream that I’ve got numbs any of the burn pain, so things have been relatively normal.  I just make a lot more typos than usual.

For the long weekend, I managed to get an extra day off and we went down to Indiana to visit the cousins.  The kids are still adorable and still a handful.  Nicholas is definitely my favourite, but Preston comes in a close second.

Nicholas made me a drawing that says “I love you and I can’t stop” with a picture of a rainbow.  Preston was my shadow and loved to play peek-a-boo and tackle me when I least expected it.  He loved my fishies (my beloved Pisces necklace) and he loved to muss up my hair so I’d blow it out of my face.  Kelsey was little miss trouble but loved up anyone who would let her.  We went and saw Shrek the Third, where both boys had to sit with me.  So it ended up being Nicholas, me, Preston and my dad in the one row

We watched Nicholas play soccer and baseball.  And we watched the twins play soccer. Mom was all nostalgic for the days when I played soccer when I was little.  I brought the boys down Spiderman puzzles, which Nicholas and I put together about 4 times each.  And I was afraid they’d be a bust. I under-estimated the draw of the great spidey apparently.  Over all I had a great long weekend, and I survived with only two new bruises.

My to-read pile is becoming too big.  I need to stop wandering the bargain books during my lunch break.  Although the good reads for cheap prices saves my budget, I have no room in my tiny room for all the books I’ve bought.  But good book¦. Good prices. Haha sigh.  I need more bookshelf space and more bookshelves

I can’t think of anything else to add.